We are both extremely busy. On top of school, which is like a full time job, I have (at the moment) 3 part time jobs, which is going to go down to 2 is a few weeks. Busy Busy Busy. Also, I just joined a volunteer group and indoor soccer is going to start up soon. Needless to say, I am never home. And my partner in crime isn't either. Which, can make one feel like they are not married.
Despite this feeling at home that I may or may not be in an institutionalized relationship, at university I feel like being a married woman is accentuated. On the first day of class, one girl was absolutely flabberghasted when I mentioned that I was married, but still enrolled in a liberal arts program. To add to the confusion, I am self-described and other-described feminist-marxist - also known in a heated discussion regarding gender, a feminazi (thanks Rush Limbaugh)
Yet, in this same environment where I shoulder the name of 'feminazi,' I also feel ousted my married status. I occupy this odd space in between feminist and post-feminist, regardless of where I consider myself to be. I feel out of place in the academic world, which seems to privilege the 'independent' woman. I ask, though, is there such a thing as independence. No one, in our current living situation, can exist without the support of others - whether it is obvious or not. Maybe I just recognize the human weakness (or strength) of having to be supported, but also to be supportive of others yourself. Nevertheless, I still feel this strange crater between me and other academics who have made the 'correct' choice to not get married and hold on to their independence! At least, in the academic circles I run.
In midst of this ideological and academic turmoil, I never see my husband. Ironic, perhaps.Well, love him anyways.
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