The Joys of That Institution

That institution is marriage. My partner/husband/best friend///// got hitched a mere 3 months ago, almost 4 I guess. And we are, perhaps, not your typical couple. He's a teacher. I'm a student. (That made our honeymoon a little awkward when saying this to border guards and whatnot). Good thing he's not old looking.

We are both extremely busy. On top of school, which is like a full time job, I have (at the moment) 3 part time jobs, which is going to go down to 2 is a few weeks. Busy Busy Busy. Also, I just joined a volunteer group and indoor soccer is going to start up soon. Needless to say, I am never home. And my partner in crime isn't either. Which, can make one feel like they are not married.

Despite this feeling at home that I may or may not be in an institutionalized relationship, at university I feel like being a married woman is accentuated. On the first day of class, one girl was absolutely flabberghasted when I mentioned that I was married, but still enrolled in a liberal arts program. To add to the confusion, I am self-described and other-described feminist-marxist - also known in a heated discussion regarding gender, a feminazi (thanks Rush Limbaugh)

For more create humor, see "A Girl's Guide for Taking Over the World" on Facebook.

Yet, in this same environment where I shoulder the name of 'feminazi,' I also feel ousted my married status. I occupy this odd space in between feminist and post-feminist, regardless of where I consider myself to be. I feel out of place in the academic world, which seems to privilege the 'independent' woman. I ask, though, is there such a thing as independence. No one, in our current living situation, can exist without the support of others - whether it is obvious or not. Maybe I just recognize the human weakness (or strength) of having to be supported, but also to be supportive of others yourself. Nevertheless, I still feel this strange crater between me and other academics who have made the 'correct' choice to not get married and hold on to their independence! At least, in the academic circles I run.

In midst of this ideological and academic turmoil, I never see my husband. Ironic, perhaps.Well, love him anyways.

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Thought #1

Friday was my first encounter with "Take Back the Night" with a great and willing friend. It was a wonderful experience. The introduction by the coordinator for the sexual assault center hit my frustration with this city on the head.

First sucky development - a radio station's "Win a Russian Bride Bride" contest. While the concept for this show is clearly sexist, horrible, degrading and idiotic, their supposed change in name was almost more insulting. In response to the criticism, the Bear issued a blurp that changed the name to 'Win a Russian Romance.' In this blurp, the irreverence for women in Russia and commodification of women's bodies was appalling. This is essentially sex trafficking. What else would the 'lucky' winner go for. Some may say that I don't have much faith in men - but who are we kidding - who signs up for this type of contest. Either you are ignorant of the implications of your actions or you don't care.

Second sucky development - a campaign by local salon glamourizing sexual violence to sell their product. Since sexual violence is endemic, the campaign is appalling. It was funny the hear the response (as known as the lack of apology) of donating proceeds to local women's shelters if the customer mentioned the horrific violence campaign. This was done in response to the call to girl(boy)cott the salon, because economic activity must go on...

Third sucky development - urinals shaped like women's lips. They claim its a parody. I say its disgusting. Talk about a culture that over-sexualizes women. And this can't even be covered over by the discourse of sexual empowerment.

To add to the coordinator's list, this one is also particularly frustrating.

The revival of revile tv shows like Charlie's Angels and Pan Am and that stupid Bunny show. Great role models for girls. Sexualized (sexual objects) women in sexist roles without power outside their sexual prowess is terrifying.

While Take Back the Night was wonderful experience of community, it was also a hard reminder of the terrible cultural norms that seem to go relatively unchallenged.

Maybe that will change. Maybe it will become mainstream to challenge and subvert sexism. Hopefully.

It's Alive

This is the beginning of my thoughts, alive and online.

This won't be regular or consistent - my life involves many intricate intersectioning commitments and desires.

It will be random - whether it's a trend I am craving, I political party I am hating or a cause I am supporting.

I encourage feedback - because through dialogue I will grow!